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Tuesday, December 3, 2013

I think I still got it

My hubby and I were invited to a couples gathering at our neighbor's house. Since it was just for couples, at least that is what they told us, I didn't expect anyone there to be without their spouse or partner. When we got the verbal invitation to come over, our neighbor's specifically told the hubby not to come unless he bring his wife. So hubby asked if I wanted to go and since I really didn't have anything else to do except watch Lifetime movies, I said that I would go. I almost said that I didn't want to go, which would have meant that hubby couldn't go, and besides we needed a night out, even if it was next door. Hubby said that he was just gonna put on some old pants and this wrinkled shirt and just pop in over there for about an hour, but I told him I was not dressing like a bum and even though it was just next door, I treated it like an evening out on the town with makeup and jewelry, which prompted hubby to dress nicer as well.

So we get there and mingle with all the different couples that are there, some are up dancing and drinking and talking loud, and I found me a spot on the couch in the other room with the more quieter group as hubby mingled with the man of the house. As other people began to come in after us, there was this empty spot on the couch next to me. This man comes in that I did not know. There were others who knew him and asked him where was his wife. He said that the wife's sister had come in and instead of them coming to the party and then leaving that he decided to just come alone. So this guy comes in the quiet part of the house where I and a few other couples are and asked me if this empty spot next to me was taken. I told him no. He asked if he could sit there. I didn't have any objections, it was an empty spot, and besides, this ain't my house. I am just a guest.

He extended his hand for a shake and introduced himself and I told him my name. And I plainly said (pointing in the kitchen) that is my husband right there. But he must not have heard that, even though it was said as plain as day. So he is sitting there, and not attractive either...and he starts talking about he needs a drink. He asked if he could get me anything and I politely said no thanks. So this guy comes back and starts talking about that if he gets drunk (pointing at the couch that we are sitting on) that he and Barbara (my name) is gonna just take the couch over and fall asleep. I was drinking some sprite and almost got choked. I looked over to this woman who thought it was hilarious and even though I don't know her, I leaned over and said, "Does he not know I'm married." She just said she knew him and that he was having fun, so I actually rolled with the fun too. I didn't comment on his lil joke, but I kinda felt uneasy, even if he was having fun.

So the hostess and her husband came in the room where we were and asked if everybody was ok, and the guy that I am sitting next to said that he would be even greater if Barbara came home with him. Whoa!!! Now the joking has gone too far. Just as I was about to say to him, you know I'm married and my husband is in the kitchen, the hostess said, "I don't think her husband would like you saying stuff like that." He said to me, "You're married?" I told him I pointed out my husband when he came in the door and he said that he didn't hear me cause he was too focused on my beauty. The guy apologized and said that he didn't mean no harm. Even though it was a great compliment, he wouldn't be my type even if I wasn't married. At least I know that at 43, I still somewhat got it.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Rough at Sea

I think I am in peri-menopause or pre-menopause or whatever it is called. I just know that it has something to do with menopause. Around March 2011, I had started missing cycles and they would come on like every other month until August 2012. I was never one to have a heavy cycle, it would last maybe 2 or 3 days on end, and it was very light that I almost forgot that I had one when it came on. Well in August of 2012, I didn't see anything and I still didn't see anything until January 2013. Five months without a cycle...Yoohoo! That felt great. The thing is that I never knew when and if it would come on. It just popped up one day without notice in January 2013. The years prior to that, I could pinpoint exactly when and what day I was suppose to have a cycle. And like it had done in the past, it only stayed on those 2 or 3 days in January.

Well, can somebody tell me why I just got a cycle in October of this year! Nine months of no cycle. Let me tell you what happened. I had gone home from work that Friday, and after using the toilet, I saw some pinkish stuff on my tissue. I thought at first I may have wiped too hard, but I looked at it again and said to myself, "Well I guess a cycle is about to come on." Well I didn't see anything else after that. So stuff like that makes you wonder, "What the heck!" Well Saturday passed and there was nothing. Hmmm, I thought to myself that was strange, but I just went on with my day. Well lo and behold, Sunday came and since I have never had a cramp in my life, that day was not unusal because still no cramps, I just felt like water was rumbling all through my stomach. It sounds weird but it was like I could feel a gush of water.

I got up and went on to church and when we all stood up, I felt like I was wet all in my underwear. When it was time for us to fellowship and shake hands, I excused myself out to the restroom to see if I had any damage going on down there, but there was nothing. Nice clean underwear still in tact. When church was over, and instead of staying for Sunday School like we normally do, my daughter and I went to Whataburger and just the short drive to get there, I declare I could feel wetness. While she ordered, I went to the ladies room and yall there was blood everywhere. It hadn't reached my pants and I was surely thankful for that. I always carry something in my purse just in case, because I heard that if you haven't had a cycle in a whole year, then you are most likely in full menopause.

Anyway, after we got our food, my daughter said she needed to stop somewhere. I told her I would bring her back later and that I needed to get home. After I got home and took a bath and got some clean clothes on, I just still felt all icky. I flowed like it was the end of the world. I have never had a heavy flow in my life. It was like I had to change my tampon like every 2 hours (not that you wanted to know all that), so I had to put on a pad and a tampon so the overflow leakage would not get in my underwear. Each time I had to bathe or wash off, because the blood was in excess of what I am used to. So I figured well in 2 days, this will be gone. Oh I had another think coming. No, this time it did not go off in 2 days like I was used to. It stayed on up until this morning. I have never used a whole box of O.B. Tampons in a week, my box usually lasts for at least 3 cycles (3 months). I honestly don't know how women do it, they go for like 7 days. After I kept flowing and flowing, I really thought something was wrong with me. So ain't no telling when the next one will come. It might be 3 months, might be another 9 months or I might get up to that year. But I do know that it was a rough time at sea. I don't want that no more.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

The not-so-other woman

I don't know if it's me but here is an opinion of mines that will just blow your socks off coming from me. Has anybody ever felt like they were the other woman, even when you know you are not. Or can you relate to yourself as being the one woman in your man's life, but the other woman is really not the other woman? I will break it down for you. Just follow along if you will.

See, my hubby is a deacon in the church; but we don't go around saying that because in reality, we are just normal simple people, my hubby and I. I just had to throw that out there so nobody will get lost in this post. My hubby thinks that part of his job as a deacon is to sit and listen to people's problems from the church. I really didn't have a problem with folks calling the house to throw their problems on my hubby like he got some Heaven or Hell to put these people in. He would listen and most of the time, they just wanted someone to give them some inspirational advice. Like I said, I didn't have a problem UNTIL this one woman called, and then called, and then kept calling and then kept on calling. I told hubby that I know that nobody has that many problems for her to keep calling my house. If she has that many problems, stop calling and get on your knees and pray.

In a crazy kind of way, I really hope that she is reading my blog and take a freaking hint. She is now calling when I am not there, when I am there, on the weekend, late at night....what in the world does she have to keep calling my hubby for. So, I asked hubby why does this one woman keep calling....and it's not just once every other day, she is now calling like 5 and 6 times a day. I even asked him if they were seeing each other. Of course he said they were not and that he is just being "friendly" to her and that she needs someone to talk to. So I said to hubby that maybe she should find herself a woman friend or talk to her own husband, because now I feel totally disrespected because whenever hubby and I are in the middle of our own conversation, the phone rings and it's HER, he has the audacity to tell me that he will finish this up with me and him later and then takes the call. I'm like what the what!! I told hubby I will not be number 2 in his world and that he can tell her that he will call her back later.

So I sort of brought the ugly side of me out and told hubby that this woman is totally disrespecting me by calling at 9 and 10 and night; and after I've seen her number on caller ID after I come home from work as well. I told him that he is allowing her phone calls to come and he is disrespecting me as well by taking the phone calls. I even went so far to tell hubby to tell this woman, who also goes to our church, to stop calling my house or I will. Hubby and I sat down and he kept reassuring me that nothing is going on with them, and that she just wants to talk. Well I am sorry for seeming like I am crazy and NO I AM NOT JEALOUS, but I just think it is odd that a married woman is calling a married man and just talking all throughout the day just to be talking. I told hubby that he better handle it, cause if I have to go to her myself - oh yeah I will do that. And I will even go as far as telling the woman's husband to tell your wife to stop calling my husband. Did I just go there? Yeah I did and I will.

Monday, September 23, 2013

On enjoying life


On this past weekend, there was an event called Sister 2 Sister in Mobile, AL. I don't live far from Mobile, maybe 45 minutes, so me and daughter had planned to go and have a girls day out. I asked my oldest sister, Cathy, if she didn't mind driving from MS to meet us there. From MS, it was maybe a 30 minute drive. So Cathy agreed that she would love to come and we all hang out. We asked one more person to come from MS as well and she had agreed that she would come and that Cathy could pick her up and they ride togther. Cathy and I had agreed that we just find one mutual spot and meet before the event so that we all could just get in one vehicle and wouldn't have to pay parking but for one car. Well when Cathy pulls up to get in my truck, I see that she is alone and no one else is in the car with her. She gets in my truck and we proceed to head to this FREE event just me, my sister and my daughter.

Cathy already sees the look on my face when she pulls up and there is no one else in the car but her, so she says to me that she know what that look is and she is about to tell me why the other female did not come with her. She says that on Friday, this person's mother-in-law went to the doctor for a check-up and the doctor told the mother-in-law that she is fighting a battle and to get her affairs in order. The mother-in-law already knew she had cancer, but seems like the cancer has gotten worse. Well the other female, I'll call her Mahalia, tells Cathy that she can't go to this event with us because her husband is sad of the news regarding his mother and that she, Mahalia, is going to stay there with him because he is sad. Ok, stop the press. Let's back this train up just a little. So the event was Saturday, and the news came on Friday, so you around the house being sad of news that you heard on Friday and the mother-in-law is still living, so you gonna be sad on Saturday and the mother-in-law is still living....where you can't leave your house for a few hours to come and enjoy yourself all because you heard some sad news! I don't mean to sound heartless if that is the way you are reading this, because I am not. My thing is this, they gonna sit around sad every day because you heard your mother/mother-in-law is fighting a losing battle. So what about when Tuesday come, and then Wednesday, and then the rest of the days that follow in behind that. She is still living yes, but that doesn't stop you from enjoying life even if today or tomorrow was the last day on earth. I can see if a funeral was that day and I asked you to come to an event to hang with us, then that would be a reason to say no you can't make it.

Maybe I am just the only one who thinks like this. I know tomorrow is not promised, so that is why you still have to get out and live and enjoy your life. Being sad for some sad news does not change anything. You haven't truly lived until you enjoy life. My sister, my daughter and I really had a good time at the event, we went and ate lunch and just enjoyed laughter and talking. When we were done, I took my sister back to her car and I went towards I-10E and she went towards I-10W and we went back in our separate ways. My daugther said to me on our way back home that she enjoyed our mini girls day and that we should really do it again. I plan to.....real soon.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Act like you care

The entire family was on our way home from a family reunion in Philadelphia, MS back to Florida. Hubby mentioned to me that we should go a different way on our way back. I said that we should stick to the way we knew, but after he kept asking like a little kid, I went on and agreed to it. Since I had never been this way, hubby got all macho saying that he knew where he was going and that he had been that way before some time way before we got married. Ever so often I would say to hubby that he needed to break his speed down, and at times he just acted like he didn't hear me, whereas other times, he would exclaim that he got this.

So we get in Washington County, AL and hubby is going around this curve like he owns the road, when, on the other side of the road driving in the opposite direction, was a highway patrol or a state trooper. Hubby sees the cop turn around at the top of the hill and says, "Uh-oh, I think he is coming for me." Hubby reduces his speed and then pulls over. Mr. Cop tells hubby that he (the cop) clocked hubby at 76 miles per hour in a 55 mph zone, and then issues hubby a ticket.  I was not happy because I kept telling to slow down, and he had to get a ticket to slow down.

After we got home, I looked online to see how much the ticket cost....a freaking 190 dollars! I asked hubby if he just has 190 dollars laying around and could just easily give it away so freely like a speeding ticket. He asked me when was I going to let it go.....it wasn't even a whole week yet.....and I told him that I wasn't going to let it go no time soon, because this is money coming out of our pockets to pay for an unnecessary speeding ticket that I tried to warn him about. And he acted like he didn't even care, he didn't say he was sorry, he didn't ask what could he do to make it up to me, he didn't ask what he could do extra...NOTHING, and I guess that was my pissed-off moment. I'll holla at you all later.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Responsibility

Ask yourself whose job is it to be responsible if your teenager has sex. Is it the parent's responsibility to protect the child or is it the child's responsibility to protect themselves? I'll give my point of view. In my opinion, it is my responsibility to tell my child about sex and what is out there, such as diseases when having unprotected sex and the possibility of pregnancy. It is my responsiblity as a parent to tell my child that waiting to have sex until you are married is much better than having random sex with random people. It does not matter if we had sex prior to being married or waited, the thing is that we teach our children the right way to do. I do not think it is my responsibility as a parent to go and put my child on birth control. It is like a double standard to me. It's like I'm saying don't have sex, but if you do, well here are some birth control pills. That's the same thing as saying to go and have as much sex as you want. Oh I did say that this was my point of view, right? Just checking.

I know this person who went and put their daughter on birth control, but then told the daughter that she better not go and have sex either. Well what was the point of putting her on birth  control? We all know that it takes two to tango and if it ain't two doing the tango, then you are just basically dancing by yourself. Children have to take some type of responsibility for themselves. If they think they are grown enough or adult enough to be making a conscious decision about sex, then they should make a conscious decision to go and protect themselves. This goes for both girls and boys. The two of them have to decide what could happen if we did this, not me deciding for them. The two of them have to decide who is going to take care of a baby if one is produced out of unprotective sex. Do not ask me to take care of no babies, because if you hadn't have laid down there like I said, then you wouldn't have to worry about that, and besides, I will be gone on a cruise or something. I have already raised my children.

If they can't be adult enough or grown enough to be responsible, then they have to face the consequences of what could happen. If they can't be responsible, then they don't need to be having sex in the first place. I am not going to supply no birth control nor condoms to either one of my children, as if I am condoning it and saying it is ok just because everyone else is doing it and for the parents who do, are you going to have to remind them to take a pill every morning or remind them to put their condom in their wallet? Seriously! I don't think so.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Sister to sister

Since this blog is from my point of view, I have a question to ask you. Why do we, as women, are always hating on other women? Sit back and get a cup of coffee or a ice cold soda while I dig deeper in this with my point of view.

I see it everywhere I go, where women are hating on other women. I mean, do you look at these other women and they pose a threat to you? What do these women have or what has these women done that makes you say, "Uggghhh, I just can't stand her." If these women have bigger breasts than yours, well get yourself a breast job. If these women have longer hair, then let yours grow out or get yourself some weave. If these women have a bigger butt, well then get yourself some padding. If you see a skinny chic and you want to be skinny, well exercise and lose weight. If you want to gain weight, then go and stalk out Krispy Kreme 24/7. I still don't see it though. Wait a minute, do you think these women are prettier than you are? Say that is not the answer. Well here are my thoughts on that. Since I have this strong mind about myself and since I love myself and have a whole heap of confidence, this is what I see when I walk in the room, especially in a room full of women. I see myself as the most beautiful, the prettiest, the finest, the sexiest, the most voluptious, the most gorgeous, the hottest thing in the room. When I walk in a room, I don't see them, I see me. I see myself and if I have a problem with myself, I go and fix it within myself only because I love me. I'm not trying to change anything about myself all because I want what somebody else has. Their thing is not my thing and their thing is not for me. What I have is because it was designed and destined just for me.

True Story: One of my sisters has really gone off the deep end and lost her mind. If she and her husband and are in the store and some woman looks at her husband, do you know that she will holla at the woman in the store and call her out of her name and ask the woman, "What are you looking at my husband for?" I mean, really! Wouldn't you want someone to look at your husband or your boyfriend? Does she really expect people to walk in the store with blinders on and just see the apples and oranges and nothing else around them.

I also can't understand why we women want to jump all over the other woman when you find that your mate has been sleeping around. My perspective is that it takes two to tango. There is no one who can take "YOUR MAN" if he wasn't willing to go. He had opportunity and so he jumped on the bandwagon and went along for the ride. I'm just saying. Instead of encouraging one another and lifting each other up in a positive way, we are so quick to tear down other women. Keep this in mind as I close, God made more than one woman on this earth, and if you see other women as being more of this and that and you are not, then maybe the problem is you and that you need to work on yourself so that you can find contentment and be satisfied just the way you are and leave them other women alone.  Much love my sisters.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Buying a better bra

A few years ago, I belonged to a church where I knew this plus-sized chic like myself. There is nothing wrong with being a plus-size girl, but one thing that irks me about  being a big breasted women is that your bra is the wrong size. So one Sunday, I see this lady come to church with this bra on that looked like it was something she was still trying to hold on to from high school. Her boobs and her stomach had become friends with each other. I'm thinking to myself, "Why are her breasts touching her stomach?" I must say that I do not claim to be a bra representative, but by golly, at least put on a decent bra where you can tell that you have two breasts, and not an extra pack of sausage in the middle.  I didn't say anything that time, because I was thinking that she might take offense if I told her.

The following Sunday came around and once again, this lady comes in church with these hooters getting low, getting low. They were jiggle-linging all over the place and being bouncy and it just didn't look good at all. Since she and I had become acquaintainces, I figured it would be ok if I went up to her and inquire about this thing she had on under her clothes. She was talking with some women after church and I went up to her and asked her if I could speak with her in private for just a minute. I told her not to take offense as to what I was about to say and I just let her know that her bra was not working for her. I told her that since she does have big breast, that she will need to get a better bra and that sometimes bigger bras do cost a little bit more than the regular bra, but that it would be worth it. I went on to tell her that not only will her clothes fit better with an uplifting bra but that she will look better as well. She said ok and then we departed and went our way.

Well the next Sunday came around again, and I was just sitting there minding my business when I see this lady come in church. When I tell you that a transformation took place just in a week, it was a great transformation. This lady had bought herself a bra and those boobs were standing at attention. It even made her look a little slimmer. She walked in that church like she had the world on her shoulder. She came to me after church was over and wanted to thank me. She said she never knew how it looked because she just didn't really care about her appearance and that no one ever took the time out to tell her how bad she looked. She said she went home after our talk and looked in the mirror and said to herself that she does need to get a better bra and that she went to the store and tried on bras until one fit. She even said that she threw away the old one that she had been holding on to. That was truly awesome.

On another note, this goes for the little breast folks too. Please do not come out the house with your titter totters poking through your shirt like the sun is peeping out from the clouds. Not only buy yourself a bra, but wear it and wear it well.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Abusive men

Here is my concern: I do not know why women allow themselves to be in an abusive relationship. Abuse can come from all stems of life. It can come in the form of domestic violence, verbal abuse, to so many things that I am not even aware of. I may the one outsider looking in but from what I see, it is not pretty. I would rather be homeless than for some man to put his hands on me. It may sound cruel, but real is real. I hear some women say that they can't leave and that they are staying for the kids sake. Forget that junk. What about when the kids grow up and you are still stuck in the same rut you were in after they leave. And ladies, what's with this saying, "But I love him." Slap yourselves for even thinking that. You mean to tell me that you would rather stay with a man cause he hit you and then called you out of your name, and then he comes back and says he is sorry and all you can do is say, "Ok babe, I know you didn't mean it." And then he says, "I love you", and what do you say, "I love you back." HA...I am NOT that woman. As for me, I wish my husband would put his hands on me....cause I will be catching a case that night. Somebody will have to bail me out of jail. I know violence from violence don't equal violence, but I would be foolish too to just let him put his hands on me without it going down without a fight....and then I leave.

I hear so many songs on the radio where it's the guy who is calling women out of their names...what's up with that? But women who love this, I feel pity for you. I love myself way too much to be degraded by a man, or to be beat upon on. I love myself enough to know my worth and I will not settle for less.